by Adoption Unfiltered
Adoption Unfiltered is presented by adoptee Sara Easterly, birth parent Kelsey Vander Vliet Ranyard, and adoptive parent Lori Holden. Collectively, we bring 75 years of lived experience relating to adoption, and we span the Baby Boomer, Gen X, and Millennial generations. We understand the history, challenges, and trends experienced by people living in adoption and the broader adoption constellation, and discuss sensitive and timely issues through the lens of our lived experiences of adoption, and dialogue with others from within the adoption constellation.
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🇺🇲
Publishing Since
5/2/2023
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April 12, 2024
<p>“There’s so much out there about the people who are ‘successful’ at adopting, but there’s nothing about people who have walked away from the process.” — <strong>Jess Tennant</strong>, a woman who decided NOT to adopt, due, in part, to predatory adoption agency practices, in ep 31.</p> <p>Jess, is an ally in unfiltering adoption. In 2017 after waiting to adopt for many years, Jess and her husband decided to halt their efforts. Some of the reasons are chilling, as you’ll hear in her story.</p> <p>Jess is a beloved public school teacher in upstate NY, specializing in middle school special ed. She shares sentiments prospective adopters hear from adoption agencies that will make you squirm. She also shares observations about the culture of pronatalism and the ways it shows up pervasively for those wanting to adopt, and even more loudly for those who decide not to.</p> <p><strong>Engage Further</strong></p> <p>Resources:</p> <ul> <li>Jess is featured in Chapter 19 of <a href="https://adoptionunfiltered.com/book"><em>Adoption Unfiltered</em></a></li> <li>Jess’s current blog: <a href="https://findingadifferentpath.blogspot.com/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Finding a Different Path</a></li> <li>Jess’s infertility and adoption blog: <a href="https://mypathtomommyhood.blogspot.com/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">My Path to Mommyhood</a></li> <li><a href="https://lavenderluz.com/evolution-of-openness-jess/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Jess’s journey to openness</a></li> <li>Interview with Jess in <a href="https://www.adopting.com/adoption-podcasts/adoption-the-long-view/what-if-adopting-doesnt-work-out" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Ep. 306 of Adoption: The Long View</a></li> <li><a href="https://www.newsweek.com/i-told-mom-find-birth-mother-blind-side-adoption-1870606" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Sara’s <em>Newsweek</em> article</a> (mentioned)</li> <li>Jess’s panel for World Childless Week: <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dth5LNrJ7Dg" target="_blank" rel="noopener">“Oops! I completely forgot I could just adopt! Thanks for reminding me.”</a></li> <li><a href="https://gateway-women.com/community/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Gateway Women’s Collective via Childless Collective</a></li> <li><a href="https://worldchildlessweek.net/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Resources through World Childless Week</a></li> <li><a href="https://www.thenotmom.com/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">The NotMom by Choice or by Chance</a></li> </ul> <p>Sara Easterly:</p> <ul> <li><a href="https://saraeasterly.com/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Sara’s Website</a></li> <li><a href="https://saraeasterly.com/books/searching-for-mom/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Searching for Mom: A Memoir</a></li> <li><a href="https://www.adoptee-voices.com/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Adoptee-Voices.com</a></li> <li><a href="https://www.instagram.com/saraeasterlyauthor/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">@saraeasterlyauthor</a></li> </ul> <p><br></p> <p>Kelsey Vander Vliet Ranyard:</p> <ul> <li><a href="https://www.twistedsisterhoodpodcast.com/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Twisted Sisterhood Podcast</a></li> <li><a href="https://www.loveyourbirthmom.com/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Love, Your Birth Mom</a></li> <li><a href="https://www.instagram.com/fromanothamotha/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">@fromanothamotha</a></li> </ul> <p>Lori Holden:</p> <ul> <li><a href="https://lavenderluz.com/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Lori’s Website</a></li> <li><a href="https://lavenderluz.com/books/#OHOA" target="_blank" rel="noopener">The Open-Hearted Way to Open Adoption</a></li> <li><a href="https://open.spotify.com/show/6GO7G4d8wxbTubbMRrPfB8" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Adoption: The Long View Podcast</a></li> <li><a href="https://www.instagram.com/lavluz/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">@lavluz</a></li> </ul>
April 5, 2024
“Let’s start talking about mothers in crisis.” — Patrice Martin, DBA, on the many failures of baby boxes, in ep 30. Patrice Martin is uniquely qualified to speak on the topic of baby boxes, which is a phenomenon that takes existing Safe Haven laws an unnecessary step too far. Patrice herself was abandoned as a newborn. Hear why, in spite of — because of! — her own history as a “foundling,” Patrice is arguing in front of state legislatures around the country against baby boxes and how to get better results with proposed funding than putting babies in boxes. Sara talks about what this extra disconnection from humans and from one’s origins means to adoptees. Kelsey explains the differences between existing Safe Haven laws and the Baby Box movement, and the false dichotomy about Baby Boxes. Lori suggests that when a supporter of this legislation holds up the use of a baby box as a success, that instead, it is a failure. Engage Further Dr. Patrice Martin: Patrice’s story on TLC’s Long Long Family Angela Tucker’s interview with Patrice Patrice’s testimony on TN HB2067 (begins at 55:40) Continuity of Care study Patrice on Instagram Adoptee Prayer Collective on Instagram Sara Easterly: Sara’s Website Searching for Mom: A Memoir Adoptee-Voices.com @saraeasterlyauthor Kelsey Vander Vliet Ranyard: Twisted Sisterhood Podcast Love, Your Birth Mom @fromanothamotha Lori Holden: Lori’s Website The Open-Hearted Way to Open Adoption Adoption: The Long View Podcast @lavluz Adoption Unfiltered’s episode on the Abortion/Adoption debate Colorado’s Baby Box Bill: Lori’s Testimony At The State Capitol
April 3, 2024
<p>“Our decision and application to adopt literally caused what happened to the very child we wanted to help.” <strong>—Jessica Davis</strong>, Founder and Executive Director of Kugatta, in ep 29.</p> <p>What if you discovered that the child you adopted was not actually an orphan, but someone who had been trafficked away from her family and placed in an orphanage on your behalf? This is the situation faced by activist <strong>Jessica Davis</strong>, founder and executive director of the nonprofit <a href="https://kugatta.com/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Kugatta.com</a>. You don’t want to miss her story of courage and conviction, and if you’re an adoptive parent, you will for sure be asking yourself, “what would I do?”</p> <p><strong>Maureen McCauley</strong> is mom to four interracial adoptees (all adults now), through U.S. infant adoption (her sons) and through Ethiopian adoption (her daughters). She also has three granddaughters. Through her long-running blog <a href="https://lightofdaystories.com/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Light of Day Stories</a>, Maureen investigates and brings us stories that need more light on them. She is a co-facilitator with <a href="https://adoptionmosaic.com/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Adoption Mosaic</a> for “<a href="https://adoptionmosaic.com/seasoned-parents" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Seasoned Parents</a>,” a class for adoptive parents who want to better understand adoption and whose children are adults, and “Navigating Estrangement,” for adoptive parents who are estranged from their adult children. Her wisdom, on display here, has helped so many.</p> <p>Sara shares how accountability to the adoptee by the adoptive parent eventually becomes necessary. Kelsey offers a formal invitation to adoptive parents. Lori points to the importance of alignment of adoptive parent’s needs and adoptee’s needs. When they’re in conflict, which one takes precedence?</p> <p><br></p> <p><strong>Engage Further</strong></p> <p>Related Conversations:</p> <ul> <li><a href="https://adoptionunfiltered.com/podcast/ukrainian-crisis-adoption-industry-corruption/">Adoption Unfiltered interview with Kathryn Joyce, author of <em>The Child Catchers</em></a></li> <li><a href="https://lavenderluz.com/maureen-mccauley/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Lori’s interview with Maureen McCauley on the Dance of Adoptive Parenting</a></li> </ul> <p>Jessica Davis:</p> <ul> <li><a href="https://kugatta.com/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Kugatta</a></li> </ul> <p>Maureen McCauley:</p> <ul> <li><a href="https://lightofdaystories.com/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Light of Day Stories</a></li> <li><a href="https://amzn.to/3FDkDvJ" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><em>Lions Roaring Far From Home</em></a></li> <li><a href="https://adoptionmosaic.com/courses" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Adoption Mosaic’s Seasoned Parents course</a> (and others)</li> </ul> <p>Sara Easterly:</p> <ul> <li><a href="https://saraeasterly.com/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Sara’s Website</a></li> <li><a href="https://saraeasterly.com/books/searching-for-mom/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Searching for Mom: A Memoir</a></li> <li><a href="https://www.adoptee-voices.com/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Adoptee-Voices.com</a></li> <li><a href="https://www.instagram.com/saraeasterlyauthor/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">@saraeasterlyauthor</a></li> </ul> <p>Kelsey Vander Vliet Ranyard:</p> <ul> <li><a href="https://www.twistedsisterhoodpodcast.com/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Twisted Sisterhood Podcast</a></li> <li><a href="https://www.loveyourbirthmom.com/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Love, Your Birth Mom</a></li> <li><a href="https://www.instagram.com/fromanothamotha/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">@fromanothamotha</a></li> </ul> <p>Lori Holden:</p> <ul> <li><a href="https://lavenderluz.com/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Lori’s Website</a></li> <li><a href="https://lavenderluz.com/books/#OHOA" target="_blank" rel="noopener">The Open-Hearted Way to Open Adoption</a></li> <li><a href="https://open.spotify.com/show/6GO7G4d8wxbTubbMRrPfB8" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Adoption: The Long View Podcast</a></li> <li><a href="https://www.instagram.com/lavluz/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">@lavluz</a></li> </ul>
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