EXPOSED | Dare to Be Seen: Where Visibility Meets Success

by Ania Volovique

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EXPOSED is your go-to podcast for uncovering the secrets to entrepreneurial success by mastering the art of being seen. Hosted by Identity Coach and Brand Photographer Ania Volovique, this podcast dives deep into the intersection of visibility, vulnerability, and sustainable success—from the inside out. Each episode brings you inspiring stories, actionable strategies, and expert insights on how to stand out in a crowded market, build a loyal audience of soulmate clients, and transform your visibility into tangible success. Whether you’re just starting out or looking to elevate your business to the next level, EXPOSED provides the guidance and motivation you need to shine brightly and achieve your entrepreneurial dreams. Join us as we explore the intersection of being seen and achieving success, and learn how to navigate the entrepreneurial journey with confidence and clarity. Tune in to EXPOSED and discover your pathway to success through visibility.

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6/30/2024

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September 10, 2024

Ep. 9: Intimacy, Entrepreneurship, and the Masculine-Feminine Dynamic w/ Allan McGrath

In this episode of the Exposed Podcast, Allan McGrath, a transformation and intimacy facilitator discusses his journey in entrepreneurship, emphasizing personal transformation and the importance of authenticity and depth in business. He explores the differences in how men and women build businesses and the challenges and rewards of navigating a relationship where both partners are entrepreneurs. Allan shares his views on polarity in relationships, the importance of balancing masculine and feminine energies, and the pitfalls of modern entrepreneurial expectations. He also provides insights on the necessity of men's initiation and training for deeper relational capabilities. The episode concludes with a discussion on the embodied experience of deeper connection and intimacy.TIMESTAMPS:00:50 Allan's Journey in Entrepreneurship01:56 The Importance of Authenticity in Business05:10 Differences in Business Approaches: Men vs. Women09:23 Challenges of Being Entrepreneurial Partners13:01 Polarity in Relationships and Business25:41 Allan's Polarity Workshops and Men's Training31:10 Upcoming Events and Final Thoughts GUEST BIO: Allan McGrath is an intimacy mentor who guides men and women to embody the teachings of sacred intimacy. For a decade, he has dedicated himself to facilitating the evolution of men through embodied masculinity, finding a higher purpose and unlocking sexual power. He also leads women through their journey of feminine embodiment, sexual yoga and the art of intimacy, and works with couples on deepening their connection through polarity and relational intimacy practices in his workshops, trainings & 1-1 coaching. IG: <a href="https://www.instagram.com/allanmcgrath_" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://www.instagram.com/allanmcgrath_</a><a href="https://tr.ee/NBIFX-eH_0" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Click here </a>for the next co-ed Intimacy and Polarity Workshop: September 27-29 in Boulder, CO TRANSCRIPT: Welcome to Exposed Podcast. Today we have a special guest, Allan McGrath. And Alan, can you please share what kind of magic you create in the world? I create a deep embodied experience of transformation and love and intimacy with the magic I give to the world. Beautiful. And being that you're the first man on the podcast, it'd be so interesting to unpack from the man's perspective, what it takes to show up in the online space to build a business. And then at the same time, be partner of someone else who's also building a business. So I guess let's start there. How has been your journey in the entrepreneurial world? Well what I have prioritized over the last 10 years of being in, in this work has been my personal transformation, my personal depth of experience. And the thing that takes me the deepest, that's what I've prioritized. And. And I think because of that, I have created a successful business because people can trust that what I give them is authentic. It's an integrity. It's connected to something deep and true. It's not just something I'm like making up. And that's always been my way. Just like, focus on going deep in my own experience, and then trusting that that will translate through what I do with, with my clients and my groups and my, my intensives. And it's what I think is missing for a lot of people in the current entrepreneurship world, they see the low barrier to entry, they, hear how amazing it would be to make X amount of money. And they, they jump in, they put up their shingle they say I'm this, that, or the other thing. And I, I think they, people forget how important it is to train, study. Be immersed in your own experience, like go through your own growth process for a good amount of time and continue doing it even when you're holding people.  So, yeah, that that's a bit of the window in. And it's so interesting how many people just show up and have expectations that all of a sudden everything will just work perfectly. Meanwhile, internally, they're not stable in their work, they're not stable in who they are. As a human being, and as a result, that energy is felt. So the gap and the void that they're experiencing is actually coming through like who you're being versus what you think you should be doing. Absolutely. I could not have said it better. You can't, you cannot hide who you really are, although the online world does put up quite a good facade. But at the end of the day, I, I always, I have seen that like the truth doesn't hide for long.  So like somebody who's actually really putting themselves, their, their whole life through a kind of rigorous like, Not like their whole life is a workshop or like, you know, they're constantly trying to improve themselves, but like they're actually walking the talk that shows through business, that shows through people's ability to trust them and give them money to them, to give their, their transformation into their hands. And I guess I'm a product, I'm a walking example of that. I know some stuff about market. I give myself less credit that I think I actually deserve, but that's my business strategy is like to go as deep as I can personally, and then to Trust that transmission that I put into the world from it.  And people feel it. They resonate with it. They can trust it. And that's, that's my strategy. That's what I do. And it, it works. Yeah, and being on the other side of it and being the recipient of your work, having gone to different events of yours and seeing and experiencing your facilitation, it is truly felt, and it's not just these, like, on the surface level facade or this is who you're going to be on the other end of it. No, this is deep work so anybody who's listening if you have the privilege to be in any of Alan's. Containers. I highly, highly encourage you and to really experience his magic, his gifts and the embodiment of his work. Thank you. So I'm curious to hear your perspective on the difference between How a man builds a business and how a woman builds a business, and especially from your perspective, your partner is also an entrepreneur, successful entrepreneur. So what have you noticed yourself as the difference between a man doing it and a woman doing it? It's a really good question. I think on certain levels, they're the same and then on certain levels, they're different. I think that let's start with the same, like to actually hold the business, you have to be like, there's a whole kind of movement around like feminine entrepreneurship. Right. And like all these women identifying as like, feminine entrepreneurs and they'll teach you how to, you know, be in your feminine energy while you're running a business. And to actually run a business, you need to be pretty fucking strong in your masculine energy. If you aren't, your business is not going to go very well.  What's required for everybody is to have solid structure, which would be the masculine right and that would include how do you structure your time, how you structure your business like what do people come to when they come to your Instagram page or your. Website, like where are they going to go?  Basically, where is the energy going to flow? And then there's the flow. There's like the thing that is felt through being on your Instagram page or your website or in person with you, right? Like there's a thing that comes through you. And if you're going to be an entrepreneur in this world, like the world of, I assume you're talking about like personal growth and transformation and not like selling bread. You need both really like strongly, you need both. And so I just want to start off by like thinking that you're going to be in like a all masculine business or all feminine business because you're a man or you're a woman, like it doesn't work that way. If you're in an all masculine business, you, you're devoid of magic, you're devoid of intuition and sensitivity and.  spontaneity, right? You're all just like structure and plan and like just sticking to it and no matter what. And if you're devoid of structure and you're all flow and magic, it just, you're going to resent your, your, the business eventually because it's going to not let you just be in it. So I think both, both are required for, for men or women. And in that way it's very similar, but I do think that I think that for a man, you. You can rely a little bit more on the structure, like you can, you can I think if a man were to constantly just feel into his intuition and change things left and right, it wouldn't work as well as, as for, as it does for a woman, like my partner would just like, she'll just, All of a sudden feel like here's this inspiration to do this thing. And I'm like the next day it's like done. And whereas I'm like, okay, I'm going to sit with this thing for a while. And I'm going to like, let it work me and I'm going to chip away at it in this way, that way. And you know, that could just be our temperament. But, but I think that that is relatively true that. You know, men, the masculine likes to be like single focused on one thing and it doesn't it's kind of like it can be devoid of the ability to be open to inspiration and intuition. And so I think women get get to be more that they get to trust what's enlivening them right now. And let it move them. Let it inspire what wants to come through them because that's what the feminine is. It's like it. It's animating the body with what's true. And so I think there's some pitfalls to that, too, but I think that that would be a bit of the differences between men and women. Mm hmm. I'm also curious if It's so much easier to create a successful business while being the partner who's also an entrepreneur. So then the feminine and the masculine can dance together without necessarily like putting one or the other in the box. Do you find that that's been easier for you? I don't know. It depends, you know, when you have two entrepreneurs sometimes it can be like, There's, there's downsides to everything. There's no, and there's upsides to everything. There's no like perfect thing. So I think you have to find what works for you. Being entrepreneurs for us works really well, but it comes with its challenges, it comes with, okay. Like for one would be like boundaries. Like when my partner's in her entrepreneurship mode, it's not good for us to be around each other because I'm not, I'm not attracted to her entrepreneurship mode.  I love it. I appreciate it. I think it's fucking incredible and it astounds me to no end, but it doesn't turn me on. It doesn't magnetize me towards her because part of it is like, It's, it's her being in some ways in the masculine. She's like in a direction. She's got a purpose. She's got a point. She's it's a very different experience being around her in that moment than when she's finished with her work for that day and she's taken a bath, right? She's a different human entirely. And so because she's an entrepreneur, her work could never end, right? She could continue being in that like zone from morning till night, right? So, and we, you know, we work from our home. And so having to navigate those, those dynamics is a challenge. It's a, it's a, it's a, not like it's. We're suffering all the time, but it's a challenge we have to overcome. We have to go, okay, what actually serves us and our relationship and what's actually important in our relationship. And how do we prioritize that? Or we're prioritizing the, maybe the work that needs to be done in certain moments. And so I don't think that's any easier per se than, than, you know, as just having regular, in some ways, having a regular job is kind of simple, it's like, You, you both, you leave the house, you're away from each other, there's no rubbing up against each other in the, you know, like in the hallway. There's no distracting just like okay like and then work is separate, it's isolated and then you come back okay now you can be together so there's a kind of cleanliness to that kind of simplicity. So you plan to get an antiphagia? Yeah. I'm strongly considering it. Okay. I'll see you in McDonald's. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. We'll do some deep work in McDonald's. But, but of course there's also the beauty of like being able to inspire each other and support each other in what might want to come through and be able to work together. You know, so there's all kinds of benefits as well, but, but I just don't want it to be like, oh, like, that's the ideal.  And that's, that's the thing is that it, because there's such a low barrier to entry, as you were talking before, it becomes idealized. It becomes like, Oh, it's amazing. You just like do what you want when you want. It's like, yeah, good luck with that. No, like that's, that's not how it is at all. It's like, it's very demanding and you have to have initiative and you have to have boundaries with how you hold yourself to be your own boss. And it comes with all kinds of challenges. Yeah. And I think it's so helpful to hear this from the man's perspective and also just in general to shine light from someone who is in that couple dynamic where you're both entrepreneurs, where we're taking down from the pedestal, this idea of the power couple, and that all of a sudden the power couple, like it just does everything flawlessly and everything's perfect all the time. Yeah. Fuck that. That doesn't exist. That exists on Instagram. I can guarantee you, yeah, well, thank you for sharing that as you were talking this post of yours, probably from like a few months ago, came to mind it was a graphic you said if there were two women. And I'm paraphrasing and tell me if you remember the one that I'm talking about, if there's two women, one is working in like random regular job and another one is a boss, babe. Like you would be more attracted to the one who has a regular job. Can you share what that post is and unpack that? Yeah. Yeah. So the key, key part you missed, you got it pretty damn good. But I keep the, the, the kicker there was the one that, that I or a man would be attracted to would be the one with an open heart. Mm hmm. Yes, exactly. Right. And by open heart, I speak metaphorically. I mean, like, that is open, right? That has open heart, open body, open in their energy. And yeah, that, that woke up a lot of boss babes. I think I've heard from a number of them who were like, That's right, that's that I they felt uncomfortably seen.  So, so the reason the reason that I are on to unpack that would be that the have to kind of explain polarity a little bit, which is to say that The let's just say the masculine in men is attracted most to its opposite, which would be the feminine, and that could be in a man but but let's just for simplicity's sake, say it's within a woman. So, the masculine in a man the part of him that wants to particularly, let's say relationally. Like, intimately, the part of him that wants, that is attracted to, to his woman is the part of her that is feminine, that is open, that is receptive. And it's, it has nothing to do with what she's doing. His attraction has absolutely nothing to do with what she's doing. Although he might appreciate those things. And I think what a lot of women didn't get this, that they, women are attracted to a man's doing. In many ways, like if he's sitting on the couch all day, eating Cheetos, like there is a low level of attraction there. But if he's like, yeah, yeah. If he's committed to something that's really important to him and he, and he sacrifices his, his time, his energy towards that thing, he's like, there's a deep level of attraction to that. Because it provide, I mean, evolutionarily, it means that he's. He's likely a good candidate to have your babies. That means he'll protect you. He'll provide for you. He'll, he'll sacrifice himself for you. That energy does not go both ways. A man does not necessarily, like I was saying before, like, he's not attracted by boss babe energy. Rather, the masculine part of him is not attracted to boss babe energy. The feminine part of him that maybe wants to be taken care of, that wants to, you know, feel secure, which a lot of men these days do which. is a problem is it could be attracted to that. The masculine part of them, which that their boss babe deep down really wants is like a masculine man, so to speak. And we can unpack what, what that means if you want. He doesn't give a shit about what she does ultimately. I mean, in, in the part of the part of him that like, wants to be with her, that wants to merge with her. It actually, that boss babe energy can be quite repellent because it's full of masculine energy. And that's just what occurs is, is like opposites attract. So the masculine energy that is filling the boss babe is beautiful and so good. And it's like, so important. Go make all the millions you want. But just know that that's not necessarily what your man is going to want to devour. That energy that has to occupy you to accomplish that is not going to be what he wants to dive into.  What he wants to dive into is your open heart, your open body, your receptivity, the part of you that could actually receive him most of the time, most of the time. And so That could be that the quote I had in there was like, she could work at Starbucks, right, so that could, that could be the Starbucks barista.  Doesn't matter that she works at Starbucks, she could be the most radiant woman in the world and that's like open woman in the world and that's what he would want. And that's confronting for, for a lot of women.  It's so interesting how right now we live in a world where, and especially with like the feminism movement, where women can do everything and women took it to the extreme, that we have to do everything ourselves. And now we kind of like finding that balance in between. I would love to hear your perspective on Most of our listeners are women, female entrepreneurs specifically. So if this conversation is triggering to any of you, I would love for you to speak to them of how they can still live in their purpose and fulfill their deep mission and what fuels them, but at the same time, allow themselves to open their heart and to be in a receptive mode to call in that King. Yeah, yeah, yeah.  Yeah, yeah. So what I'm what I'm saying, as you said before, it goes against, like, decades of conditioning, right, where basically women have become their own men, right? As you say, like, they have to do everything on their own.  But if you want to create, if you want to create, as you say, like, a relationship with your king, which is like this, It's like what everybody's saying these days, but like very few actually want to receive what it would be required from them from, from that man. To do that requires like confronting the conditioning that we've, that we've taken in. And there's all kinds of like societal like we can trace this as a society but where we've come to really what I've seen is like women are starting to realize that they.  They have to let go of certain habits and patterns within their body mind in order to make space for the men who are just really starting to wake up to their deep masculinity. And so, so to what letting go of those patterns means is like, yes. Go after your purpose, like do the thing that you're here to do, like make the impact you're here to make. But if you want to be in a deeply nourishing, polarized, intimate, open relationship. Also, and I want to be wary of like, giving you more, giving people more things to do, because that's such a. virus in our world. It was like, okay, if I just add 15 more things to my to do list, then I'll finally be enough. But, It would actually be more like less doing so prioritize things that prioritize just as equally as you are, as you are prioritizing like giving your gift and making money and you know, driving your business prioritize just as equally like opening your body with your. breath, letting feeling move through you laying in the grass and just melting into the earth, like, like allowing, allowing, creating rather pockets of your life where you're amplifying the feminine part of you just as much as you're amplifying the masculine part of you.  And that's that is the ideal is that both man and woman have both capacities in them and online and able to play at any moment, so that at the correct moment, you can animate the the energy that is most ecstatic and most blissful and fun juicy. Right? And if you are a boss babe who's never like felt into the deep feeling of her heart and allowed it to move her body or allowed it to like crack open and cry or like really connected her womb to her heart and like all you've done for the last 10 years is like just work, work, work, work, work, work, work.  You're not going to have in your body the capacity to meet a man who wants to ravish you. And like, take you to your depth, because your body has been practicing the opposite, which is like, giving, giving, giving, giving, giving, doing, doing, doing, doing, doing. And, and so it'd be very hard to receive, it'd be very challenging, you'll create all kinds of things in your life to not receive, because you'll have been avoiding those things for so long.  And so, so that's, that's kind of where, what you would do is you would like start to make it a practice, make it a priority to to emphasize feeling and being in particular moments and really animate them in your body, just as much as you animate the party that is like purposeful and driven and, like giving to others through your business.  And I think it's also so important to know that not all men are there either, or they're totally true. And that's why the work that you're doing is so important and so powerful, because yes, we can practice opening ourselves. ourselves up, but the conditioning will still be there. And then the dynamic of the man who's not in his masculine that can then trigger you going into your masculine. Oh yeah, but it's, but it's always it always starts with us. It always starts with us. We can never wait on the other person because it's a, it's a both and always. And so yes, you're absolutely right. And this is, this is a big reason why women believe that they have to do it all themselves is because. Like, where are the men who can provide for them, who can protect them, who can take them deep, emotionally, spiritually, financially, sexually, their Fucking hard to find. Well, you have a whole collection of them. So, let's just send them over. Well, we're creating them. We're training them. They require training. And that's what's beautiful about, about the time that we live in, is men are waking up to that. Like, oh, I didn't get the playbook. And what I, the playbook I've been using, the unconscious one that I received from culture is not working. And so, yeah, we, that's what we're doing. It's a big part of what I, what I'm alive to do is like to train men.  so can you share more about your polarity workshops and what you're doing with men specifically? So all of the men in training can go and find you. Yeah, yeah. So, so I have a couple of different avenues. One, one is is a company I've created with, with three brothers and 13 pines. And we, we do exclusively men's work related programming and training. And that's really about you know, pretty much all men today didn't receive something crucial to their psychological development. That they would have received for thousands of years, and that's an initiation by other men with other men, and so we have men who are really that like a psychologically boyish age in their 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s, 70s because they never received a very crucial thing that they would have otherwise. And so that's a big thing that we do is like initiate men into really a deeper level of being that's, that's in them already. That's just dormant and we educate them on like what it means to be a modern man. And that actually requires a lot of. Uneducating like unlearning the patterns that they learn from culture and their parents and their schools and their relationships and reeducating them and what it, what it means to be a man to be someone who protects who's capable of providing capable of, as I said before, like, taking their partner deep. And all the areas that that is what that is the purpose of relationship is to take each other deeper than we can go on our own. And the sad fact is that most people just find someone that they're comfortable with, and then they just stay there for 50 years. And I think people in our generation, like a little above, a little below, are starting to feel like, what the fuck, isn't there something more? Shouldn't there be something more to this? And so that's what I do in the polarity work is, is show people how they can take each other deeper, literally through the physical body. The energetic body, the subtle body, and it's there that we really Like the, the, the men's work is a very good foundation to, to build to build like a stable place, like a stable, a stable foundation for their life, right? Like to address their personal work that needs to be done. And then once that's there, moving into a co-ed space allows for all kinds of. Beautiful healing to occur, all kinds of freedom to occur. Cause most men, they want to give women what they really want. They've just never been in an environment that really encouraged it in a safe way. They'd never been in an environment that gave them positive and constructive feedback that showed them how they could really be and vice versa for women. And so it's the same thing. And so With within the polarity work that I do, that's, that's what we're doing is we're learning how to relate. with the opposite sex in a way that through it's kind of like through embodying who we most know ourselves to be, like who we are at our essence, can take the opposite sex to some place far deeper than they could ever have gone on their own. It's something like that. Like the deeper we go into our personal liberation or freedom, the deeper we can go with, with another, with a partner. And then it also impacts all areas of your life because how you feel internally, even also in the context of business, how you relate to your clients and to everybody else, that's like a direct correlation there. Absolutely. Yeah. Like relationships are, if your relationship is causing you suffering, if your relationships, your ability to be in one or not being one, they're causing you suffering, it's going to show up everywhere. And so ideally our relationship and in particular, our intimacy, that's the center of the circle of the, of the series of circles that is our life.  Right. And most people just kind of get, like I said, comfortable there and then just, settle there and that settledness, that kind of like flaccid lack of real fulfillment, just filters out through their years, their decades of life. And what's really possible is that their intimacy could, could have them experiencing God on a daily basis, experiencing bliss on a daily basis, experiencing real freedom and joy and truth the daily basis. if they knew how to use their intimacy for that. And that's just, that's it. Most people don't know how they don't, they haven't learned the techniques. They haven't been initiated to deeper parts of their, of their being. And so, yeah, that's, that's what we do. So if somebody wants to meet God, how can you help them?  Well, I mean, the surefire way is to put them in front of another human being. and show them how to see them in the right way, how to see that person in the right way, and spend a little bit of time there with the correct instruction and you'll, you'll know God pretty quick. So where can people get in front of you so you can guide them? Well, a great way is coming to a retreat I'm doing in September in Boulder, 20, September 27th to the 29th. In Boulder, Colorado, that will be co ed, that is that's where, where we met, I believe was, that was back in January, correct? Yeah, so I've been to two of these retreats and each one of them has been so unique, so anybody who is even a little bit interested and curious, I highly encourage you to check it out and maybe you'll need that too.  Yeah, yeah. Yeah, we make small promises at these. Right, no big deal, you'll just meet God. And maybe your soulmate too. Or realize that you are it. That's right, that's right. Yeah, that's, that's one of the most beautiful things that I've learned through this work, is that like, that knowingness of God, that ability to love in such a deep way, can be created with anybody, anybody.  And it's quite a, Matters very little about your preferences. How they look or how old they are, young, they are good looking, not good. Like, like all, all that stuff is absolutely meaningless. Once we start to learn how to see in the correct way. So yeah, so September and the end of September, it's a great place to come.  It's a great place to take what a lot of people just have ideas about and actually bring it to the body, like make it an actual embodied experience like polarity for example is such a people spend all day thinking about it and. They have all these ideas about what it, I talked to polarity coaches and I'm like, do you practice polarity? And they're like, what do you mean? Like, ah, okay. So most people, it's just an idea. It's like a, something that they do. But it's actually it's a practice a very deep one, just like any other kind of deep meditation or yoga. So it's a really good place to to come and we do all kinds of other things but yeah, it's a good place to come and make your, make your ideas real and get a real direct experience of what this can look like in your body, and then your life as you return home. And then, yeah, we have a handful of training for men coming up as well. So I have a a facilitator training for men who are maybe a little farther down the path who actually want to learn how to lead other men in a good way. And that starts in October. And then next year we'll have our, our training that's more oriented towards men leading their own life. And then we'll start in January of 2025. Yeah. I have a very important question. Bring it on. When are you going to do singles? What do you mean? Like single events. I don't know, like, you know, matching all of the men who finished the trainings and, you know, opening them up into the world of women. What am I going to do? Recovering boss babes. Yeah. That's a good question. I don't know if I want to be responsible for that amount of karma.  But no, it is something that I, you know, as, as as these things grow and the, and the communities grow, I, I very much look forward to, there's been some crossover already, but I very much look forward to the days of the men who have been trained for a solid year, two years, three years coming into, and you see it already. Like I have men who I've worked with for years coming to these polarity events, which are relatively newer. And it's so fun to see them because they're like, Oh shit, like, I see the result of all the things that we've been doing these last years. And it's such a, I just love seeing that on those men because they.  They, they their growth is obvious, like their depth is palpable. It's obvious. And it's good for them to experience that. So, so yeah, I, I don't know yet is the short answer. Just get me the database. Okay. Okay. Yeah. Totally. But I'm also leaning back and intercepting. You're surrendering. You're surrendering. I'm not attached. Okay. Bye. Well, thank you so much for sharing all of your wisdom. I have one last question and it is if you had a microphone and you could share a message exposing one truth that you want other people to believe and embody, what would that be?  That something deeper really is possible. That there's so much more. To life and to love. And it's, it's like one heartbeat away. It really is. Like, I think most people go through life very much alone in their suffering and very much unmet in their depth. And.  If I could remind them of one thing that like, it's right there when you know how to look for it, like that thing that you're so yearning for that would like quench the thirst of your soul. It's right there when you know how to look for it and you know how to find it in yourself and see it in another.  Yes, let every single soul hear this and really embody it and live it. Well, thank you, Alan, so much. Where can everybody find you, love you, and follow all of your work? Instagram, for better or worse, is a great place. You can find me at Allan McGrath. That's Allan with two L's and two A's. Allan McGrath underscore, and you can find me at my website, allanmcgrathisbell.com, although I'm sure it is highly outdated. But those are great places to find out about the retreat, the trainings that I do. And then I do work with people one on one who want to actually like mentorship is another big thing that's, that's really important for this kind of work because everybody's so unique. And so.  Yeah, nuanced. It's, it's one of my favorite things to do is, is to mentor people for, for six months or so and bring this to their life in a big way. Beautiful. Well, thank you so much for all of your wisdom and the work that you're doing in the world. Thank you Ania I appreciate you having me.

August 16, 2024

Ep. 8: The Power of Systems in Business w/ Systems Daddy Ting

In this episode of EXPOSED, hosted by identity coach and brand photographer Ania Volovique, guest Ting Yarrington, aka 'Systems Daddy,' shares her expertise on scaling businesses for high-achieving entrepreneurs. Ting discusses the importance of embracing one's true identity, leveraging business systems to maintain consistency, and the impact of daily choices on personal and professional growth. The conversation delves into actionable strategies to remain grounded during challenging times and the transformative power of visibility and authenticity in business.TIMESTAMPS:00:36 Meet Ting: The Systems Daddy01:41 Navigating Life's Challenges04:54 Embracing Your True Identity15:11 The Power of Systems in Business21:27 Final Thoughts and Where to Find Ting GUEST BIO: Ting is your Systems Daddy, the powerhouse that turns 6-7 figure biz chaos into a seamless 5-star hotel experience for everyone involved. She’s a funnels, team, systems, backend master that makes sure your business takes just as good care of you as you do them. SOCIAL MEDIA:<a href="https://www.instagram.com/tinliyarrington" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank" style="color: rgb(17, 85, 204); background-color: rgb(250, 251, 255);">https://www.instagram.com/tinliyarrington</a> TRANSCRIPT:Ting, can you please share what kind of magic you create in the world? First of all, hello, and thank you so much for having me here.  So my name is Ting and I am Your system's daddy. I help incredibly powerful and super busy multi six, seven, eight figure queens scale their businesses like fucking crazy so that their businesses not only feel like a five star hotel experience, Where their business basically and systems take the bags off your hands and make you feel like you are at that luxury resort ready for your team. But the whole idea here is that your business needs to support you just as much as you pour into it. And that is my goal with making sure your back end is running as smoothly and as flexibly as possible. So. I am the dad for you. Everybody needs a systems daddy in their business. Alright, so, how do you show up for yourself, for your business, and for others, when life lifes?  I love this question because there is no avoiding life. Life is life thing no matter what you do. So I think that's an amazing, like, it is the reason why I do a lot of what I do is because when life happens, usually it happens out of nowhere. Um, and it's so, it's so important to have a way to make sure that you are taking care of your nurturing yourself. And that, you know, things don't just fall apart when life, life. And so a lot of the times, especially when things happen, and I actually have several instances of this happening to me recently is coming back to me at my core and reminding myself who the fuck I am has been such a massive part of doing these things.  Doing these up levels and really leaning into me being the daddy that I am in the space. So I'll give an example is I've had some, some interesting interactions in my business recently. We'll say, and a lot of them have led me to question who I am and how I show up in the space. Like, have I been really showing up at my maximum potential? Have I been the leader that I really desire to be in the space or have I still been playing a little bit small? Have I still been hiding in ways because I'm afraid of hurting people, offending people, or being too much? In a lot of ways, it's also like, am I afraid to be the villain in a lot of people's story?  And a lot of this identity and work has been around, like, can I live with that? Can I, like, at the end of the day, at the end of the day, what we have is ourselves and our identities. That is something that we truly have control over in our, in our own beings. So at the end of the day, it's asking myself like, am I proud of who I desired, who I decided to be today? Am I proud of the way that I showed up? Did I do that with the best of intentions I could and led with my heart and who I wanted to be, and not just who I feel like I should play in this, this stage that is life that I decide to own up and be the main character of my own story. Because that is what I have control over.  Like, I can't decide what other people say on stage. That's their role in life. But I have control over my own minds. And how I want to present myself. So who am I going to be today? And who do I want to be? So really owning a lot of that. Especially with life life. Can I come back to my root and my core?  And decide I'm proud of who I am. The question that you just said, or the statement, the question in the statement, who do I get to be, that is the core of everything else that follows. I even have in my bathroom, I have a painting, a photo frame that says, um, I'm not who you decide I am. I am who I decide to be. And every single day, no matter what's happening in my world, that is the question that Keeps me grounded and keeps me on my own path without comparing, without trying to be someone else or thinking that I should be someone else or should be acting any, in any, any other way. So all of the shooting and really coming back to who do I get to be. And it's a choice. And every single morning we have a choice. We get the morning, we get a new day. It's a new day full of opportunities. And we get to choose who are we going to be within the challenges and within all of the shit that may be thrown away. So thank you for touching on that as well. I, first, I love that you have that like hung up. That's a great, like, just reminder to yourself. And it reminds me even of a conversation I had recently with some of my friends who, shocking or not, are all in corporate. None of them are actually in this online expansive space. But the question that I had asked them was, how does your image of yourself differ from the image that other people have?  And how does that affect you? And a lot of them said, well, A lot of people do see me as maybe more shy or more timid or more, and so a lot of the times I end up just like playing that role, because what's the point in changing that? And I'm like, the hell are you saying to me right now? That doesn't make any goddamn sense. Right? Because I get it. And it's exactly the same. We have no control over other people's visions of us. And that's fine. At the end of the day, there will definitely be a differentiating factor between how you see yourself and how other people see you. And that's okay. The point is, are you happy with the image you have of yourself, the way you're holding yourself, the way you're choosing to show up?  Are you proud of that? It doesn't mean a damn what other people think it really does it. And the other side of it is exactly as you said, every single day we have the choice. To show up how we are. An amazing example is we were talking before this, um, this uh, this set up here about being a cat person. And both of us have actually shifted that, um, being cat people. 'cause in the past we were just like, we're just not cat people. We're more dog people. I, we both said that before because like very much dog people. Mm-Hmm . And then I was like, but who decided that really? We did and as small as an, I don't, I don't know if anyone could see, but I'm doing quotation marks. Like as small as that seems, like that was still an identity we chose for ourselves. And we have the power to decide the other side of it. So. Both of us here being cat people now. Right. And that's such a beautiful and perfect example. Like, yes, it's so frivolous and maybe simple, but it is an example that if an identity could be shifted just like that, then what other identity that is not serving you. And that is the key. It doesn't mean that you have to change every single thing that you think you are. It's rather getting inquisitive and getting curious and looking within yourself and asking, is the label that I'm assigning to myself, this identity that follows the words I am, which are the most powerful words in the universe, because they're claiming who you are looking to be. So if that's not in alignment with who you actually want to be, Then start changing everything that follows the, I am statement. So anytime you say I am, and it's followed by any limitation or anything that is preventing you from actually being your fullest expression, then begin shifting it shift, shift, shift, shift.  I mean, really it's. It takes a little bit of practice leaning into it for sure. But the more that you're able to internalize and realize you actually have the power to decide what follows that I am statement, because some of the most common ones are like, I'm just not that kind of person I am was at the beginning of that, like, wait, who decided you weren't that kind of person? You weren't the kind of person. And literally Anya has helped me with that too, because I also had the internal belief of like, who, like, who am I to step forward? Well, even like about, so for everybody listening, uh, ting is also my sole client. So we're planning this expansive VIP photo shoot in the next couple of weeks. And one of the things that I was inviting her into is shifting her relationship of color. So I'd love to hear from you ting, how has that experience been for you? And what do you feel has shifted? With the way that you see yourself once you actually embrace the fact that, hey, you might actually like to wear more color.  Absolutely. So I think the funniest part here is. I wish, I think you've addressed before too, like I've said several times, 'cause I had this own identity in myself, was like, I don't really wanna stand out. I don't really want people to see me. Mm-Hmm. . And then I remember the first time I said it, I think Anya was like, you're wearing bright colors right now, like in this like crop top and like athletics. Like, what do you mean you don't wanna be seen? I'm like, oh, . And then as we're preparing for the shoot too, the first few photos I sent to Anya. Were the most pastelly muted colors you could find. They were soft purples. There was like a kind of brighter neon, but then there was like this really like muted beige dress. And he's just like, no. They were nice. She's like, no, it's gotta be bold colors. Because that's actually who I wanted to lean into. It's being bold, being brave, being out there. You don't want a passive daddy. You're going to step forward and dominate and be like, covered babe, like, that's what you want. Like, you're right. Cause that is actually who I want to be. And in a lot of ways that is who I am. But what I do is I play this 50, 50 thing where I'm like, sometimes daddy and sometimes like, Playing cute over here. So then literally a few days later, I go shopping again and I made sure to go to a store that only had bright colors.  And I put, I had a hot pink, I had a neon green, I had a bright blue. And I put those on the woman that I was in those pictures is starkly different compared to the one where I wore the pastel one, starkly different, which also made me laugh because the outfit I chose that day for myself was a muted green, which didn't make me laugh. Cause when I put that back on, I was like. Damn, this ain't right. I gotta toss this right away. It was starkly different when I realized, like, that identity of, you know, I don't, I don't really want to stand out too much. But that was affecting literally even the clothes, the colors, what I actually know I really like. I love bright colors, but I was keeping that a little bit smaller because I didn't want to be seen, but I did. I love that example, and I want to just insert a bit of clarification for everybody listening that it doesn't mean that every single person is supposed to be wearing hot pink or bright colors every single day. It's rather. Coming back to your truth and what feels most expansive for you. So if bright, bright colors work with your skin tone, A, I mean, we want also the colors to be complimentary to how you actually look and B, they make you feel playful and expansive. That is the most important thing. So it doesn't even matter how it looks like if you feel like a million bucks, then clothes get to be the anchors that anchor you into the identity that you're looking to step into. So in a way clothes, yes, it could be frivolous and it could be superficial and like everything has the light and the shadow. So what if you're looking at clothes every single time you're getting dressed, you're looking like at it like a form of self expression where you're choosing intentionally. What are you going to put on based on how you want to feel?  And then the clothes become these amazing expanders where you're walking out of the door. You feel like a million bucks, you become magnetic. People come to you. They comment on your clothes. And as a result, then it opens up more opportunities because of who you be. It's not the clothes, but how you feel wearing something that feels in alignment with your truth and with your expression.  It's why they say a picture, a picture is worth a thousand words, right? Like it's, it is that same, I am statement, but just in that visual form. When you choose that, this is how you want to represent yourself today. And there are a lot of people who will look at certain clothes and be like, well, I'm not the kind of person that wears that, or this doesn't seem like me. And I'm like, Whose voice is that? Yeah, lovingly remind yourself that perhaps that's coming from not you, not your truest form. And if that means wearing, you know, pastel colors or statement jewelry or nothing. You know, you get to be the one that decides that as a part of your own expression of your identity. Exactly, and use it as an expression. And every single day could be different too. You don't have to put yourself in a box. So I'd love for you to expand on how important systems are for specifically for being able to show up no matter what happens. Yes, absolutely. So the beautiful thing with your systems is that they actually just, they are less affected by life lifing than you are. Yes. Basically not. Good point. They're in fact, you know, not going to need to take time off for their period coming. Yeah. You know, like things like that. So. The beautiful part about having your systems in place about, you know, and again, when I say systems, it's nothing, it could literally be you simplifying how you create content on social media. It could literally be having the most basic fill out form to join a challenge, like a show up live, like experience. It could just very simple, basic things where your business is doing a lot of that pushing for you. So the beauty of having in place when life is life and means that while you're taking care of life, your business is not on pause. Your business is still showing up for you and being able to support while you need to take time away or do life things, whatever's going on. And some of my favorite examples of these are when. My clients and I have examples of people randomly finding us randomly, heavy quotation marks, randomly finding us, coming into our spaces, paying us, and we're like, who are you?  Yes, that is one of my affirmations. Clients find me from expected and unexpected ways, and I keep repeating it. Yes, my business works for me, even when I sleep. Exactly. That is exactly we all dream. And it's, it's true. Like we've all had this desire to be paid in our sleep where we don't have to constantly be involved.  That's what the systems do is they hold that space for you to receive while you're not active. So that while you're active or not, that is your choice. Your business is still running and supporting you. That's what the systems do. So people will find us and they pay us and they're on boarded in. They get all the materials to join the first call. Did we lift a finger? No, we didn't have to, because we already had systems in place where they were receiving automated emails. They're being welcomed in the connection process from finding you to jumping in the nurturing. That's all built in. And it's, it's stuff that, you know, you've been, most of us have been in business for a good period of time. And we'd like to know that the effort we've put in has been has been basically scaling our momentum higher and the systems are basically an extension of the care and the love you have for your container. So that when you need to take because usually we're in the grind, we're doing things, we're committing to our businesses, we're committing to our people, we're showing up, caring, and we want our businesses to basically have this moment of damn. She really cares. I'm ready to support her, take care of her so that I want to be on this train too. I want to support her so that when the CEO decides I need a break, I need some time, like life is happening. I just got broken up with like, I, my kid is sick and we're going on vacation, something, you know, whatever happens, the business basically goes, I got you, I've seen what you've done. Like we've built this together and I got you covered, go do what you need to do. That's what we want our businesses to assist. That's what the systems do. They see, they absorb the care. They basically are a mirror of the care that you have and they take care of things. Yes, beautiful.   So what is the simplest action that they can take? Or the simplest workflow that they can focus on that will create that forward momentum?  Oh, I think my brain skipped many steps ahead, but I just want to dial it back a little bit. See, one thing I would invite you to do today. Is take an honest look at your business. I want you to sit down, candle light, like, you know, true, put your business in front of you. Usually that means opening up some tabs, some platforms you already have open, get a notebook, get a candle, maybe have a glass of wine or hot chocolate or tea. I don't drink. So it's going to be, it's going to be the team for me and look honestly at your business and how it's set up. Look honestly at it and have an honest conversation. Like who's doing a lot of the lifting. Is it you or is it me? And if the answer is you are doing most of the lifting, then this is a lovely invitation for your partner, which is your business to hold some of that responsibility with you. So that's really like simplest one is look honestly at your business and ask who's doing the major lifting here. I love that. And really the first step to any change and any transformation is awareness. So before you focus on any, like, or get distracted by, Oh, I need to have an email list and I need to have an email system and workflow here in this, this, this, this just pause for a second and dedicate a specific intentional time to really get present. And like any relationship, it requires quality time. So dedicate quality time and be with your partner, who does your business and connect to the awareness around what is working, what is not working and who is doing the heavy lifting. I love that. Beautiful. I'm excited to see what everybody comes up with.  Yeah. Thank you so much. Yeah. So where can everybody find you? Love you and follow you everywhere. Love on me anyway. No, best place to find me is on Instagram. That is my platform. I love to hang out. I love making people laugh, sharing ridiculous things. Come hang out with me on there. My handle is Tinley Yarrington. And once you type in Tinley, you'll find me. It'll say systems daddy, right? When you search it, so you'll know it's me. So come hang out with me on there. Do you have gotten any questions? Want to ask more about. What I do, how I could support you, how you can support you, how your business can support you.  Don't hesitate to reach out. I got your back. Awesome. Thank you so much thing. And until next time.

August 7, 2024

Ep. 7: Behind the Scenes of My Healing Journey with Dr. Joe Dispenza

In this episode of EXPOSED, host Ania Volovique shares her transformative experience at Dr. Joe Dispenza's meditation retreats. Ania discusses how Dr. Joe's teachings helped her heal from a brain tumor without chemotherapy or radiation, emphasizing the importance of staying present and connecting to one's inner world. She also introduces 'Rebirth,' her upcoming group program for female entrepreneurs, aiming to help participants overcome limiting beliefs and align their businesses with their soul's purpose. Join Ania as she shares personal insights, strategies, and inspiration for entrepreneurial success and personal healing. 00:36 Personal Journey with Dr. Joe Dispenza02:29 Healing from Brain Cancer04:39 The Power of Meditation and Somatic Work06:31 Invitation to Transformative Journey07:30 Rebirth Program Announcement09:02 Conclusion and Final Thoughts RESOURCES:2022 Cancun, MX week-long retreat testimonial: <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GOUyvkx-b2c" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GOUyvkx-b2c</a> TRANSCRIPT: I just finished my second week long retreat with Dr. Joe Dispenza, a renowned author, speaker, and researcher in neuroscience, epigenetics, and quantum physics. Say that 10 times faster. So while I had some expectations, I walked in as a blank slate. So much has changed in the last four years. The retreat honestly couldn't have come at a better time.  I was feeling like my entire world is falling apart, not knowing what's next, and questioning literally everything. I was ready to be no one, nowhere, Dr. Joe's prime teachings. Of course, everyone's experience is unique. In this episode, I'll share my personal journey, how Dr. Joe's work supported my healing from brain cancer, and some ideas on how you can get the most from his retreats. Or even just meditations in general. So first notice Dr. Joe's retreats are like any other meditation retreat. His specific specific methodology disconnects you from who you think you are and connects you to the unified field. The process focuses on releasing predispositions, opinions, and ideas about your life. The more you can disconnect from the known. And embrace the unknown, the more you open up to the abundance of possibilities that life has in store for you. His teachings aren't for everyone. A lot of my clients actually low key complain about his voice, and so many people have opinions about that. But really, what I think is I look at the evidence. And for me, his work has been life changing, literally. I first came across him about five years ago. And shortly after, I really got to practice his teachings. On August 8th, 2019, also known as Lion's gate, I had a seizure and fell on my face. The doctors found a 5 cm brain tumor, later identified as glioblastoma, one of the most aggressive brain tumors, with a typical survival time of 12 to 15 months with standard treatment, and only 5 to 10 percent of patients surviving 5 years or more.  This was five years ago. Not only am I alive, I healed myself without any chemo or radiation. Interestingly, I didn't even know I was following his protocol at the time. At my first advanced retreat in Cancun a leg later, I understood what supported my healing. Instead of taking on the identity of a cancer patient, I fully surrendered to the experience. So much so, I even shaved my head, wanting to be ahead of chemo. The joke was on me. So instead of feeling like a victim, I focused on love and gratitude. Instead of preparing for the worst case scenario, I saw myself as healthy, whole, and healed. The healing formula was heightened emotion, love and gratitude, plus a clear goal, Being healthy and healed, this combined with full trust and surrender created a miracle.  Despite the odds, statistics, and doctor's predictions, all my scans came back clear. I no longer needed any chemo or radiation. When people asked me how I did it, I didn't have a clear answer until that first retreat. Where the dots connected. If you'd like more details about my healing journey, I'm including my testimonial from that first retreat in the show notes.  The mind and body are intimately interconnected. The subconscious doesn't know what is true or imagined. So if your current reality doesn't match what you desire, I invite you to trick your mind by imbibing the emotions your future self would have. My healing journey didn't stop at the scans. I knew there was more at the root cause.  So for the next three years, I continued deep somatic and healing work to transmute past trauma and alchemize it into medicine. And the journey continues. Staying in my body and being present has been my greatest lesson. While disassociating was my go to protective mechanism for literally my entire life, being here with what is, continues to be my daily devotion.  These pockets of time disconnecting intentionally from the outer world to connect to my inner world are the greatest gifts I can give myself. That also ripples out to everyone in my life. I meditate, not just for myself, but for my impact on others, combined with somatic work, it's the ultimate path to true freedom, freedom from within, without needing anything from anyone, without distractions, without craving, scrolling or chasing for bigger, better, more, and feeding the hungry ghost, ultimately arriving at satisfaction.  Feeling satisfied with who I am, what I have, and where I am without being attached to any of it. Truly becoming no one, nowhere, in no time. If this sounds expansive, I invite you to sign up for your next retreat and go in with no agenda. The more you can disconnect from your current reality, the more you'll open yourself up for all of the surprises life has in store for you.  May my story serve all who listen. May it be a gentle invitation, or a loving slap on the butt, to move. If you're not satisfied with any area of your life, it's not too late to become who you want to be. Shed the straitjacket of societal conditioning, external expectations, and the illusion that it's not the right time.  Another day is not promised to any of us. Everything can change in a second. The story you tell yourself dictates how your life unfolds. Change your story, change your life. In honor of my five year bonus living anniversary, this Lion's Gate, I'm opening the wait list for my signature group program, Rebirth.  This three month transformative journey is designed for female entrepreneurs who want to break free from limiting beliefs that stop you from truly showing up and sharing your truth. Embrace your true soul gifts and create the life and business you desire. Based on satisfaction, not chasing external validation.  So you can share your message with confidence, clarity, and magnetism. This round will be the most powerful yet. So many new nuggets of wisdom got channeled through during the retreat. 40 hours of meditation is the greatest drug there is. Too many women hide their gifts, dim their light and shrink their power. It's time to rebirth yourself and your identity as an entrepreneur. If you want to overcome limiting beliefs, holding you back, embrace and amplify your unique gifts, build the business that truly aligns with your soul's purpose. Cultivate unshakable confidence and clarity. Share your message with magnetic impact. I would absolutely love to support you. Message me to get on the waitlist and be the first to receive all the details and early bird pricing. Sending you so much love. Till next time. CONTACT: To learn more about the REBIRTH Group Program and get on the waitlist, please email [email protected] or message on https://www.instagram.com/ania_volovique/

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