by Leslie Vernick
Relationship Truth: Unfiltered is a place for people of faith to find real answers when it comes to destructive relationships. Leslie Vernick is the author of seven books, including the best-selling, ”The Emotionally Destructive Marriage.” She has dedicated her life to cutting through the religious confusion and teaching women to grow in their relationships: with God, with themselves, and with others.
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🇺🇲
Publishing Since
6/4/2022
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July 1, 2024
<p>Resource: <a href='https://leslievernick.com/peoplepleasingcourse'>Leslie's People Pleasing Course</a></p> <p>In this episode, Julie and Leslie explore the connection between trauma and people-pleasing habits. They discuss how past experiences can lead us to prioritize others' approval over our own well-being. Through real-life stories and practical tips, they empower listeners to break free from these patterns, find their voice, and foster more authentic connections.</p> <p>Why Understanding the Connection is Important</p> <ul><li>Childhood patterns: Survival mechanisms that may not serve us well in adulthood</li> <li>Impact of unresolved trauma on adult relationships and well-being</li> </ul> <p>Signs of People-Pleasing Behavior</p> <ul><li>Difficulty saying no, anxiety when refusing requests</li> <li>Constantly seeking approval, compromising personal values</li> </ul> <p>Roots of Negative People-Pleasing Behavior</p> <ul><li>Relationship trauma: Abuse, neglect, abandonment</li> <li>Response mechanisms: Fight, flight, freeze, fawn</li> </ul> <p>Personal Experiences with People-Pleasing</p> <ul><li>Leslie Vernick's journey: Balancing pleasing others with self-care and values</li> </ul> <p>Setting Boundaries</p> <ul><li>Importance of identity and responsibility in setting boundaries</li> <li>Practical examples: Saying no without guilt, prioritizing self-care</li> </ul> <p>Strategies for Healing from Past Trauma</p> <ul><li>Recognizing trauma's impact on decision-making and relationships</li> <li>Taking responsibility for personal healing and growth</li> </ul> <p>Conclusion</p> <ul><li>Importance of internal healing for breaking the cycle of people-pleasing</li> <li>Steps towards self-awareness, setting boundaries, and healing from trauma</li> </ul>
June 24, 2024
<p>Resources:</p> <p><a href='https://leslievernick.com/peoplepleasingcourse'>Register here </a>for our UNLIMITED Moving Beyond People Pleasing Drop-In Group Coaching + Video Curriculum</p> <p>Today, Julie & Leslie are exploring how some of your best qualities and highest Christian virtues can make you a target for toxic individuals. Have you ever wondered why you seem to attract destructive people despite your kind heart and good intentions? This episode will help you understand and transform how you navigate relationships, allowing you to embrace your strengths while safeguarding your heart.</p> <p>People Pleasing: People pleasers are often generous and eager to make others happy, which can make them susceptible to manipulation. Without the ability to say no, people pleasers may find themselves overextended and exploited. Learn to buy time before committing and practice saying no without guilt.</p> <p>Loyalty: Loyalty is a noble trait, reflecting a commitment to relationships. However, blind loyalty can lead to staying in harmful relationships with habitual liars or abusers. Pair loyalty with discernment and wisdom to know when to break away from toxic situations.</p> <p>Forgiveness: Forgiveness is a core Christian virtue, emphasizing grace and mercy. However, endless forgiveness without consequences can enable continued abuse or neglect. Healthy forgiveness includes justice and setting boundaries, ensuring there are consequences for harmful actions.</p> <p>Forbearance: Forbearance promotes patience and tolerance, important in any relationship. Being passive and ignoring habitual sin or evil can be dangerous. Be intentional about forbearance and confront issues when necessary, following Ephesians 5:11 to expose deeds of darkness.</p> <p>Kindness: Kindness reflects God's love and compassion. Niceness without boundaries can lead to being used and misused. Be kind but firm, setting limits on unacceptable behavior without compromising your values.</p> <p>Selflessness: Selflessness mirrors Christ's sacrifice and service. Being overly selfless can lead to losing your identity and becoming an object in the relationship. Steward your life wisely, balancing self-care with serving others, and maintaining your individuality.</p> <p>Trust: Trust is fundamental to any healthy relationship. Naive trust can lead to betrayal and harm. Trust with discernment, recognizing when someone is not trustworthy and acting accordingly.</p> <p>As we discuss these virtues, remember that we are currently enrolling for Leslie’s Moving Beyond People Pleasing program. This course is designed to help you apply these principles in your life. Visit <a>leslievernick.com/peoplepleasingcourse</a> to learn more and register.</p> <p>Final Thoughts:</p> <ul><li>Embrace your Christian virtues but pair them with wisdom and discernment to protect yourself from toxic individuals.</li> <li>Taking care of yourself is not selfish, it’s stewardship. Prioritize your well-being to better serve others and fulfill your God-given potential.</li> <li>Remember to consider the entire counsel of God, not just isolated verses, to guide your life and relationships.</li> </ul> <p>Thank you for joining us today. We hope this conversation helps you navigate your relationships more wisely and embrace your strengths while safeguarding your heart. Until next time, take care and stay true to your values.</p> <ul><li> </li> </ul>
June 17, 2024
<p>Join Moving Beyond People Pleasing! www.leslievernick.com/peoplepleasingcourse</p> <p> </p> <p>In this episode of Relationship Truth: Unfiltered, Julie Sedenko talks with Jill, a woman navigating the complex journey of staying well in a challenging marriage. Jill shares her story of setting boundaries, seeking therapy, and balancing hope with vigilance. Her experiences provide valuable insights for anyone facing similar marital struggles. Tune in to hear Jill's candid account of the ongoing battle to maintain wellness in her relationship.</p> <p> </p> <p>Introduction to Jill's Story:</p> <ul><li>Jill's background and the challenges she faced in her marriage.</li> <li>Early signs of an emotionally unhealthy marriage.</li> </ul> <p>Navigating Family Influences:</p> <ul><li>Impact of Jill's mother-in-law on her marriage.</li> <li>Establishing boundaries with extended family.</li> </ul> <p>Steps Towards Healing:</p> <ul><li>Seeking counseling and church community support.</li> <li>Building a business together and navigating financial struggles with faith.</li> </ul> <p>Challenges of Staying Well:</p> <ul><li>The constant effort required to maintain healthy boundaries.</li> <li>Handling emotional triggers and setting consistent limits.</li> <li>The difficulty of not reverting to old patterns of behavior.</li> <li>Balancing hope for improvement with vigilance against setbacks.</li> <li>Navigating emotional health within the family and maintaining stability for her children.</li> <li>Recognizing and addressing codependency and manipulation in relationships.</li> </ul> <p>Behavioral Changes in Marriage:</p> <ul><li>Positive changes in her husband's behavior and their communication patterns.</li> <li>Significance of transparency and trust-building.</li> </ul> <p>Final Thoughts and Advice:</p> <ul><li>Jill’s advice for women in similar situations.</li> <li>Emphasizing the language of behavior and the importance of reflecting on personal responses.</li> </ul> <p> </p> <p> </p>
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