by Robert Weiss, PhD, MSW and Tami VerHelst
The Overcoming Betrayal and Addiction podcast, featuring Dr. Rob Weiss and Tami VerHelst, presents a conversational Q&A style discussion drawn from listener questions about sex and porn addictions, infidelity, cheating, and hard work required to heal relationship betrayal. Dr. Rob and Tami are very good at engaging people struggling with painful life issues in a useful, respectful way. They also invite you to join them on their live weekly webinar (Mondays, 5 p.m. Pacific at https://bit.ly/DrRobandTami), where they answer questions live Dr. Rob is Chief Clinical Officer for Seeking integrity Treatment Centers. He is a 30-year licensed therapist, a PhD sexologist, and author Sex Addiction 101, Prodependence, and Out of the Doghouse, among other books. Tami is Chief Relationships Officer for Seeking Integrity LLC. Tami brings over 40 years of personal addiction knowledge, helping supply struggling individuals and couples with the resources and direction they need to heal.
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Publishing Since
1/4/2022
Email Addresses
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April 17, 2025
Tami interviews Debbie McRae on the neurological and psychological effects of betrayal brain and how to regain control.
April 10, 2025
Dr. Robert Weiss and Tami help spouses navigate intimacy and boundaries after betrayal and addiction, emphasizing self-care.
April 3, 2025
<p dir="ltr">Therapist Erin Snow shares insights into addiction, betrayal, boundaries and healing. She underscores the impact of addiction in the workplace, the importance of setting boundaries after betrayal, the realities of weaponizing sex in a partnership, and why betrayed partners often pursue safety seeking behaviors during healing. </p> <p><strong> </strong></p> <p dir="ltr">TAKEAWAYS:</p> <p dir="ltr">[2:05] How addiction manifests in the workplace. </p> <p dir="ltr">[5:17] My husband is SA genetic – is nature or nurture going to win out? </p> <p dir="ltr">[9:45] The intimacy disorder underneath compulsive sexual behavior. </p> <p dir="ltr">[11:32] Healthy goals for a successful separation from an addicted partner. </p> <p dir="ltr">[17:18] The benefits of a period of separation in the healing journey. </p> <p dir="ltr">[19:00] Can married sex addicts use their spouses to act out even if they don’t have extramarital affairs? </p> <p dir="ltr">[24:45] My partner threatens to leave me if I don’t give her what she wants. What should I do? </p> <p dir="ltr">[25:30] My partner doesn’t like to talk about consequences if he acts out. What can I do? </p> <p dir="ltr">[29:45] How can I turn away from shame and toward growth and healing? </p> <p dir="ltr">[33:14] Should I report my ex to help keep women safe?</p> <p dir="ltr">[39:17] Is lying an inner circle behavior?</p> <p dir="ltr">[45:20] Should I hire a polygraph test to help me heal from my partner's lying behavior? </p> <p dir="ltr">[50:49] My partner is not being fully honest in therapy. What should I tell her CSAT to help us both? </p> <p dir="ltr">[52:34] Should I stop snooping even though I continually uncover my partner's lies?</p> <p><strong> </strong></p> <p dir="ltr">RESOURCES:</p> <p dir="ltr"><a href= "https://seekingintegrity.com/">Seekingintegrity.com</a></p> <p dir="ltr">Email Tami: <a href= "mailto:[email protected]">[email protected]</a></p> <p dir="ltr"><a href= "https://sexandrelationshiphealing.com/">Sexandrelationshiphealing.com</a></p> <p dir="ltr"><a href= "https://www.intherooms.com/home/">Intherooms.com</a></p> <p dir="ltr"><a href= "https://www.amazon.com/Out-Doghouse-Step-Step-Relationship-Saving/dp/0757319211"> Out of the Doghouse: A Step-by-Step Relationship-Saving Guide for Men Caught Cheating, by Robert Weiss</a></p> <p dir="ltr"><a href="https://prodependence.com/">Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency, by Robert Weiss</a></p> <p dir="ltr"><a href= "https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07Q97VCYQ/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1"> Sex Addiction 101: A Basic Guide to Healing from Sex, Porn, and Love Addiction, by Robert Weiss</a></p> <p dir="ltr"><a href= "https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00BAEK96A/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1"> Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men, by Robert Weiss</a></p> <p dir="ltr">Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions. </p> <p><strong> </strong></p> <p dir="ltr">QUOTES</p> <ul> <li dir="ltr" aria-level="1"> <p dir="ltr" role="presentation">“Our willingness to change dramatically shifts when the consequences are more painful than continuing is.” </p> </li> <li dir="ltr" aria-level="1"> <p dir="ltr" role="presentation">“The person who is willing to stop and turn around and stare that generational pattern in the face and is willing to do the work can break the cycle for generations to come.” </p> </li> <li dir="ltr" aria-level="1"> <p dir="ltr" role="presentation">“Let each other go, or get a really solid plan together for the time that you’re separated.” </p> </li> <li dir="ltr" aria-level="1"> <p dir="ltr" role="presentation">“Your boundaries are about what you are going to do, and they require your partner to do nothing.” </p> </li> <li dir="ltr" aria-level="1"> <p dir="ltr" role="presentation">“I don’t have to have some kind of proof that something is dramatically off to set a boundary so that I feel safer.” </p> </li> </ul> <p> </p>
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