by Kristina Orlova
Unlock the secrets of OCD. Expert insights, personal stories, and practical tips. Learn all things OCD with the OCD Whisperer Podcast. #allthingsocd
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3/7/2020
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April 15, 2025
There’s a quiet tension in love when you live with OCD—an unshakable feeling that something’s off, followed by crushing doubt: Is this real, or is it just my disorder? You learn to second-guess yourself, to dismiss your instincts, to stay in places that feel unsafe because your brain tells you fear is always a lie. But what if it isn’t? In this episode of The OCD Whisperer Podcast, host Kristina Orlova talks with marine biologist, Antarctic researcher, and Braving the Waves author Ally Kristan about the dangerous intersection of OCD and relationships. Diagnosed at 12, Ally knows how OCD can distort reality—how you can mistake manipulation for reassurance, red flags for intrusive thoughts, and chaos for normalcy. Together, they explore the heart of the dilemma: How do you trust yourself when your mind has betrayed you before? OCD doesn’t just invent fears—it can bury real ones, conditioning you to ignore the quiet voice that says, This isn’t right. They unpack how manipulative partners exploit OCD’s vulnerabilities—love bombing, gaslighting, instability disguised as passion. And they offer a counterpoint: what safe, steady love can actually feel like. This episode isn’t just insight—it’s an invitation. To stop gaslighting yourself. To reclaim your instincts. To step into relationships that feel like peace instead of war. The question isn’t can you trust yourself again. It’s: are you ready to try? Let’s get into it! In This Episode [00:03] Introduction to Ally Kristan [01:00] Understanding OCD's impact [01:24] Distinguishing intrusive thoughts [02:32] Toxic relationships and therapy [04:48] Recognizing red flags [05:38] Love bombing explained [09:29] Gaslighting and its effects [10:12] Identifying healthy relationships [14:22] The role of reassurance in relationships [15:05] Navigating compulsive behaviors [16:18] Understanding relationship dynamics [16:46] Understanding OCD and relationships [17:10] Healthy relationship dynamics [18:07] Identifying toxic traits [18:54] Consistency in relationships [20:01] Evaluating relationship feelings [20:32] Comparing friendships to relationships [22:18] Good days vs. bad days [22:56] Rebuilding trust in instincts [23:21] Meditation for clarity [26:43] Nature as a healing tool [27:13] Finding the right meditation [28:32] Time and practice for intuition [29:20] Differentiating symptoms [32:03] Closing thoughts and Ally’s resources Notable Quotes [02:09] “It is really difficult to know the difference between the OCD noise and something that your gut instinct is telling you, especially in relationships." — Ally [06:52] "Love bombing is definitely something to look out for, especially if it's somebody pursuing you who you're not initially interested in. That should be a little bit of a red flag." — Ally [08:42] "When you're with someone who does truly love you and have your best interest at heart, they're going to make it feel like loving you is easier than breathing." — Ally [09:37] "Gaslighting is when somebody is basically making you doubt your own sense of reality." — Ally [17:47] "I really do believe that if you're with somebody who's really making you safe and really does have your best interest at heart, it's not going to exacerbate your OCD symptoms." — Ally [28:40] "Trying to regain touch with your own intuition and mind again, it takes time and practice and consistency, but once you get there, it's like the floodgates are open and such a sense of restored peace." — Ally Our Guest Ally Kristan is a marine biologist, wildlife advocate, and author of Braving the Waves, a memoir exploring her journey with OCD and toxic relationships. Her work has been featured in National Geographic, NPR, and Audubon Magazine. Through speaking engagements and her Instagram (@UpYourAlly), Ally empowers others to reclaim self-trust and navigate mental health challenges with resilience. Resources & Links Kristina Orlova, LMFT Instagram YouTube OCD CBT Journal Tracker an
April 1, 2025
In this riveting episode of the OCD Whisperer podcast, host Kristina Orlova sits down with Mike Parker, a licensed clinical social worker and the creator of the popular YouTube channel OCD Space. Together, they embark on a deep dive into the world of OCD and the transformative power of Inference based cognitive-behavioral therapy (ICBT). But what happens when doubt becomes the driving force behind every thought? And how can someone trapped in the cycle of obsessional doubt ever learn to trust their own mind again? Mike Parker pulls back the curtain on the insidious nature of "obsessional doubt," a phenomenon that leaves individuals questioning their every thought, memory, and perception. Why do those with OCD feel compelled to seek reassurance over and over, even when they know it offers only fleeting relief? And how does this relentless doubt keep them locked in a prison of their own mind? As the conversation deepens, Kristina and Mike explore the critical differences between ICBT and exposure and response prevention (ERP). But here’s the burning question: Can understanding the origin of obsessive thoughts be the key to breaking free from their grip? Mike sheds light on how inferential confusion and obsessional doubt drive OCD. This episode is a masterclass in navigating the labyrinth of OCD treatment. Will listeners walk away with a newfound understanding of how to confront their doubts? Or will the complexities of the human mind leave them questioning everything they thought they knew? Tune in to uncover the answers—and perhaps, a path to freedom. In This Episode [00:02] Introduction to the episode [00:56] Understanding ICBT [02:00] Obsessional doubt explained [02:21] Differentiating ICBT from ERP [03:36] The nature of obsessional doubt [05:58] Reassurance-seeking behavior [09:25] Understanding internal evidence [11:27] The role of self-knowledge [13:31] General facts vs. personal context [14:49] Handling real mistakes [16:40] Exploring early memories [17:46] Understanding obsessional doubt [19:22] Childhood influences on OCD [20:28] Clarifying ICBT vs. psychodynamic therapy [21:44] Focus of inference-based CBT [22:41] Cognitive distortions in OCD [25:34] Re-evaluating daily routines [27:06] Timeframe for progress in treatment [29:22] Complicating factors in OCD treatment Notable Quotes [00:02:42] "Obsessional doubt is a core process identified in OCD when you’re doing I-CBT. It’s a thought process where someone with OCD knows something but doesn’t trust themselves enough to stick with what they know, leading them to question, dismiss, and seek more information than they have." - Michael Parker [00:18:26] "We can start to see how long the client has been telling themselves an obsessional story about themselves... It was all logged in there and then all put together, but if we go back, we can see this actually never meant you should be locked into never-ending doubt." - Michael Parker [00:23:39]"I-CBT is primarily a cognitive therapy... The focus really is figuring out why you reject information, why you don't trust it... Let's figure out why you doubted." — Michael Parker Our Guest Mike Parker, LCSW, is a licensed clinical social worker and private practice therapist based in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. He specializes in treating obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) using cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) and inference-based cognitive therapy (I-CBT). As the host of the OCD Space YouTube channel, Mike is dedicated to educating individuals and mental health professionals on effective OCD treatment approaches. He is passionate about helping clients understand and overcome obsessional doubt while also training fellow therapists in evidence-based interventions. With a focus on empowering individuals to trust themselves and break free from the cycle of compulsions, Mike continues to be a leading voice in the OCD treatment community. Resour
March 18, 2025
Imagine struggling with intrusive thoughts that feel unbearable, unshakable, and all-consuming. You try to fight them, suppress them, or rationalize them away, only to find that they persist, growing stronger with every attempt to resist. But what if the key to managing OCD wasn’t in pushing these thoughts away, but rather in changing your relationship with them? In this thought-provoking episode of The OCD Whisperer Podcast, host Kristina Orlova, LMFT, welcomes Naomi Matlow, a writer, educator, and OCD advocate, to explore how Buddhist psychology offers a fresh perspective on OCD management. Naomi, the author of A Thought is Just a Thought: A Buddhist Guide to OCD, shares how ancient Buddhist teachings on mindfulness, suffering, and attachment can help individuals with OCD develop a new understanding of intrusive thoughts. Together, Kristina and Naomi dive deep into the nature of suffering, the role of acceptance, and practical techniques for navigating intrusive thoughts without letting them define you. This episode is a must-listen for anyone looking to integrate mindfulness-based approaches into their OCD recovery journey. In This Episode [00:00:00] Introduction to the episode [00:01:04] Naomi’s background and inspiration for writing her book [00:02:33] Understanding OCD through a Buddhist lens [00:04:03] How thoughts are like sensory perceptions [00:05:41] The Western tendency to over-identify with thoughts [00:07:12] The challenge of accepting intrusive thoughts [00:09:56] Clinging, aversion, and the roots of suffering in OCD [00:11:20] The Four Noble Truths and how they relate to OCD [00:13:20] The role of desire and resistance in maintaining suffering [00:16:29] Practical steps to cultivate acceptance and detachment [00:18:35] Shifting focus from thoughts to sensory experiences [00:20:45] Meditation techniques for intrusive thoughts [00:22:14] How to connect with Naomi [00:22:54] Closing remarks Notable Quotes [00:13:00] "An OCD thought is a thought you are not willing to have." – Naomi Matlow [00:07:12] "We tend to put so much weight on the content of our thoughts, but thoughts are just another form of perception—like smelling something bad in the fridge. They don’t define who we are." – Naomi Matlow [00:11:20] "Clinging to positive experiences or pushing away negative ones only deepens suffering. Acceptance isn’t about approval—it’s about allowing reality to be what it is." – Naomi Matlow [00:25:00] "The body is always in the present moment, but the mind is often stuck in the past or worried about the future. That’s why grounding in the senses can be so powerful." – Naomi Matlow Our Guest Naomi Matlow is a writer, educator, and OCD advocate based in Southern California. In 2024, she published her creative thesis from Lesley University's Mindfulness Studies Master’s program, which evolved into A Thought is Just a Thought: A Buddhist Guide to OCD. Naomi’s work integrates Buddhist philosophy, mindfulness, and evidence-based OCD treatment approaches to help individuals develop a healthier relationship with their thoughts. Resources & Links Kristina Orlova, LMFT Instagram YouTube OCD CBT Journal Tracker and Planner Website Naomi Matlow Instagram Website Mentioned in This Episode: A Thought is Just a Thought: A Buddhist Guide to OCD by Naomi Matlow ICBT with Kristina Orlova and Christina Ennabe Sneaky Rituals with Jenna Overbaugh Disclaimer Please note while our host is a licensed marriage and family therapist specializing in OCD and anxiety disorders in the state of California, this podcast is for educational purposes only and should not be considered a substitute for therapy. Stay tuned for biweekly episodes filled with valuable insights and tips for managing OCD and anxiety. And remember, keep going in the meantime. See you in the next episode!
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